Sometimes life presents us with a double blessing. We may have cleaned up the spare room to make into the nursery when the results from the latest sonogram indicate that there are two blessings coming home from the hospital. Suddenly we realize as we balance the budget that we will need two cribs, two high chairs and twice as many clothes. Two babies also mean two temperaments, two personalities and two tastes. Twins have a constant complaint and that is that they are referred to as “the twins”. Hopefully they are not conjoined and you can take the time to discover and love the differences of these two individuals nurturing them so as to help them become two separate but close siblings.

Let them share with you their likes and dislikes and whenever possible have an input in the designing of their room. Allowing for separate beds, even if only twin or bunk beds, provides them with the option of their own sheet, and comforter preferences and even their own space. Everyone needs something to identify with as their own.

What if there is going to be a new baby?

Adding another child to an already crowded home may create challenges from the sibling who suddenly must share their bedroom with another. This is not a temporary situation so it is best to make the transition as smooth and easy as possible. Every household member needs to ideally have a space to call their own even if it only means a basket in a cubby that belongs to them and them alone. They need to know that certain items that have some emotional significance to them are safe from little hands. Maybe an older sibling has quite a nice collection of hot wheel cars. These could be quite tempting to a toddler, and probably not the best thing for a toddler to be playing and placing in their mouths anyway….

A child who has taken the time to make a collection and care for it deserves the right to enjoy their labors and not to be worried constantly about protecting it so a place should be prepared that is safely out of reach of the little one. Big brother will have a better relationship with little brother or sister if he is not resentful or fearful of the harm that may come to his sibling and his collection. After all childhood has enough pressure.

Homework is another concern of older children. It’s not just the dog that ate the homework. Sometimes little Johnny finds big brother or sister’s homework or text books as a fascinating item to color, wad up, rip, or drool on. One way to solve this dilemma is to allow each family member their own personal cubby, with the older ones getting the higher shelves. It teaches the children to pick up after themselves and helps to teach them organizational skills and respect for one another’s things.

Being a big brother or sister may mean sharing your sleep space, but it also means getting to stay up for maybe an hour later than the little one. During this time, ideally, they can enjoy a quiet time to their self if they planned their evening properly by taking care to get their chores done and their homework done and put away. Now some quiet time can be enjoyed reading a favorite book, writing in a journal or occupying themself with a quiet activity. It is easy to grow attached to a younger sibling when the little cherub is resting peacefully in bed and all is quiet at last.

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